2005-06- 2, 8:13 AM
Sex Advice From Music Critics
About 80% of the rock critics in America are men, and I would estimate that 64% of them are still virgins. I think the best way to try and get rock-crit chicks is to ask one of those dudes to introduce you to his intern. What is the quickest way to get a music critic in bed? Send them the new White Stripes advance LP. I enjoy public, anonymous sex. What's your favorite spot? The Spin magazine offices. It's also very important to realize that the vast majority of music critics don't like sex. That's why they're spending all their time listening to albums and then writing about them instead of fucking. They might like dressing sexy or talking about sex, but when it comes to the actual business of gettin' sloppy with another human being, they give it one and a half stars. They've spent so long cultivating this universe of microdivisions of taste that the big gross exposures of intercourse represent a horrendous imposition. I don't porn-surf, honest, although my gay male roommate uses my computer and has www.studmall.com in the "favorites" bar. It's all real men and the descriptions are like, "Virile Italian bear meets Lower East Side twink in a bathroom; hotness ensues." I check it constantly. As a part-time DJ, I love seeing people getting it on while I'm spinning records. I watched some guy get a handjob on the dance floor the other night, and it was much more inspiring to my set than concentrating on the hundreds of people just jumping around and having normal fun.如果嫌不過癮，底下還有更多Sex Advice來自不同領域的Freaks: "Sex Advice from Star Wars Fans":http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/starwarsfans/ "Sex Advice from Bloggers":http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/bloggers/ "Sex Advice from Role Players":http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/roleplayers/ "Sex Advice from Publicists":http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/publicists/ "Sex Advice from Stand-Up Comedians":http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/standupcomedians/female/
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由 whippinboy 發表於 June 4, 2005 2:45 AM
由 pulp 發表於 June 6, 2005 7:57 AM
guess i'm falling onto the inevitable route of a sex-less self-proclaimed music critics without knowing it.
And yes, despite not knowing the length of the new white stripes LP, i am highly likely to pick that over sex....since the anticipation and emotional fulfillment will most probably last longer than average sex.....oh god....
perhaps i should use my cd budget for this coming month wisely on....birth control tools...?
all jokes aside, this has been a great find for the semi-nerdy self-proclaimed music critics like me. Keep up with the good work.
由 eugene 發表於 June 7, 2005 12:45 PM